Being fearful can become a way of life for a battered woman She may need to be constantly on guard, looking for what is going to happen next.  It may become difficult for her to complete ordinary tasks due to on going fear. Threats are often a part of their lives, and they are taken very seriously!

 

Many battered women feel shame, in many ways they blame themselves for the behavior of their partner.  This is particularly true of parnter abuse because women are so often held responsible in our culture for making the relationship work.

 

 

All battered women are angry and filled with rage at their partners and their situation. It makes no difference what kind or severity of abuse they suffer, they are pissed!  They know their life isn't right, many not knowing how to fix it or being terrified something will happen to them.  That can become a very dangerous situation.

 

 

Most people in a battered woman's life has no idea of what is happening to her, or understand her confusion about her relationship.  She oftern will blame herself for either getting into or not getting out of her situation. She is trying to figure out what causes the abuse and how to stop it.  "If I love him enough" or "If I ..." At the very least, she is confused about how much responsibility she has for the abuse and about the many mixed messages she is getting "I love you now, and You're a whore later"

 

 

Isolation is a creepy weapon, it comes up ever so subtly.  It is one of the major contributors in a downward spiral of a woman's self-worth because there eventually no contact with the outside world.  It starts easily with your partner making side comments about the other's family and friends. Leading to asking to get rid of them to demanding.  Often thinking agreeing is going to  make things better  and stronger, while the other partner is  still doing whatever they please.

There are many factors that contribute to isolation.

   *Lack of transportation or telephone

   *No supportive family in the area

   *Being made to leave the work force

   *Not having access to financial resources.

 

 

Abuse leads to depression.  Imagine having someone else having control over power and control over you. You feel boxed in, there is no light, no air. You feel oppression, and with  that comes depression. Battered women are not allowed to move freely around as non-abused women.  They have to restrict their activity, behavior, thought and emotions.  This can casue feelings of hopelessness, they can't think clearly, not able to sleep, sadness, eating habits are changed.  All of these are associated with depression.

 

 

Minimization  is a common characteristic or defense mechanism for battered women.  If she can make herself believe things are't that bad, she can live with it more easily.  Frequently, women minimize the abuse by comparing their abuse with that of other abused women.  There are always other women that have worse situations, so they  can make themselves believe since it's not like that  then everything is going to be ok.  Minimizing is a very dangerous way to deal with abuse. It is a way to avoid the reality of the situation but can make a woman not take seriously threats and injuries.

 

 

Being abused causes a woman to feel sad, that sadness often overwhelms them and wears at their self-esteem.  They are unable to talk about their abuse, they look sad and not even realize it.  Their sadness often keeps them from feeling angry about the abuse and have difficulty protecting themselves.  They also feel the need to protect their abuser. They are concerned about his emotional or physical well being afraid they will fall apart or commit suicide if they leave. They are forgiving of him at times that may in appropriate for their own safety.

 

 

This is a reaction to an experience outside the range of normal. It is often associated with the reactions of combat veterans.  It is also now associated with battered women. The severity of abuse is not necessarily the key to why this occurs. The key  is more the effect of the abuse and how it feels like it feels like being in combat.  It is also accompainied by  feelings of hopelessness, loss of esteem, psychic numbing, memory loss, anxiety attacks and illness.

 

 

When there is a loss of any kind, and battered women feel the loss of a lost relationship, and a happy future.  Many women experience many losses at once.  She may lose herself, her home,treasured personal belongings, children, friends. A lot of time the grieving process is delayed to deal with other situations.