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When women are being battered, their lives become about survival. They forget to live, they forget
how to live. When they are finally free of the relationship, they are lost and still afraid. There are many things
that bring on that fear. They are fearful of the ex, they are not sure what they are going to do now, they are afraid
for their children. Most of all they are afraid of life. They have been isolated possibly for many, many years
and have no idea how to interact with people on a "normal" level. Sometimes that is the reason women go back, because
at least there they knew what to expect and what is expected of them. I know, to some that may sound crazy, but it happens
more often than you may think. I know when I left my ex husband, I felt that way. I felt like I couldn't make
it, and that I needed to go back to the people who knew me, who at some point had taken care of me. It was scary as
hell to leave! I had to change everything about my life, I had to start over with nothing but my clothes. I had
a job that you had to have a security "key" to get in, I moved to the other side of town, and I cut all ties to his family
and friends. I walked to and from work everyday until I started making friends that would give me a ride to and from
work. I also went to domestic violence counseling to basically retrain myself about how relationships are supposed to
be.
More importantly, I started to learn about me. I started to live the life I wanted. It's hard
to know what is right for you if you have no idea who you are! How can you tell someone what you want out of
life and a relationship if you have no idea?
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